Does anyone have Bill Gates’ phone number? I’d like him to field some of my tech support sessions.



  1. Just now I had an AIM discussion with my sister who had conflicts with her CD Player app not letting Autorun run on some CD-ROM she was trying to install. “I’m on the software’s website, and it says to go modify the registry key HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE/Yada/Yada/Just/Give/Up and set the AllocateCDDrive value to 0, but I don’t see it.”

    Wanna take this one, Uncle Bill? And explain why she has to deal with crap like this?


  2. I just restored some bookmark files from backups for my wife after her last BSOD truncated her bookmark.html file. “I hate this computer. We should take it back,” she says. I have to explain that it’s not the computer itself.

    At some point, we’ll get her HP laptop turned over to Linux, but until then, I have the weekly-or-so cussing from the dining room table.


  3. And finally, here’s one from my good old Aunt Gayle, wanting to print up her neighborhood address book. She tells me “I did the File Menu, and then Print, and I click the OK, and it says the program has performed an illegal exception. It’s got this big long number. Do you want me to read you the number?” No, that’s quite all right, Aunt Gayle. That’s not going to help me at all.

    Maybe try re-installing Office is all I can suggest. I’m certainly not going to try to find dupe DLLs over the phone or anything. “Why does this happen?” she asks me, forlornly. Why indeed?




“Why does this happen”, Uncle Bill? Can you give me an answer that I can share with the family members who use me as tech support? I’d really appreciate one.


The bigger question for the industry: Why do we continue supporting a company that sees BSODs and registry hacks as part of normal computing life for the average user?

What should I say? How do I explain it?