With any project, it’s important to know what you’re getting into. Otherwise, the experience could end up a lot like that blind date with the guy who was long on body odor and short on charm. The problem is clients sometimes want answers but they don’t want to hear any questions.
A good spanking might seem like a satisfying response, but chances are that won’t go over well with your client and it won’t help you define the project scope either. Here’s one solution that came to mind one day:

Client: We want to build a Web site so our customers can get all the information they want without calling our customer support line. How much would that cost and when can you have it done?

Monty P. Manager: I’ll need some background on the information for the site. For example, do you have a list of the questions your customers ask? Which ones do they ask the most? How many times per month? Do you have customer satisfaction surveys or feedback? How much information do you have to publish on the site?

Client: We don’t know any of that. I thought you’d figure all of that out. We just know that we don’t want to hire more customer support people. So, how much would that cost and when can you have it done? The executives are breathing down my neck.

Monty P. Manager: OK. Got it. You want cost and schedule. Just pick door number one, two, or three.

Client: Huh?

Monty P. Manager: It’s easy. Behind each door, there are project costs and dates. Pick a door and that’s the cost and schedule for your project.

Client: But, how can I pick when I don’t know what’s behind the door? And what do I get for that cost and schedule?

Monty P. Manager: That’s how it works. I don’t know what’s involved in the project. And you don’t know what you’re picking. I figure, it all evens out in the end.

Client: But, I can’t do that! My management team has to approve the budget and we’ve already picked the launch date.

Aside from Bonnie: Do NOT get me started on pre-determined project finish dates. Some arranged marriages between people work out. But an arranged marriage with a finish date is doomed to failure.

Monty P. Manager: I can help you with that. How about we work on defining the project? I can give you an estimate of cost and schedule for this first step. And then, when we know what we’re dealing with, we can estimate the whole nine yards.