All things considered, I’ve been a pretty bad girl this year and have no reason whatsoever to expect wish-fulfilling anthropomorphic representations of corporate America to reward me for this. Regardless. Chris A. thought it would be a good idea if several of us wrote to Steve and asked for stuff rather than just expecting coal-black 5G iPods in the Apple Store-stockings. So here’s my list.

Dear Santa-Steve,

I wanna new video 6G iPod. I want it to be plug compatible, full-screen displayed–at least the size of the current iPod, extremely durable and scratch- and child-resistant, to last at least 5 years, and have interaction technologies that are at least as good as the touch wheel, a built-in microphone, and pretty please can I have a pony and a built-in file system for the library so all my music isn’t just in playlists and one big chunk and I wouldn’t mind if I could, you know, program it directly with a really badly documented API. (Trust me, as a tech writer, there’s nothing better than a really badly documented API as a *gift* of all gifts.)

I wanna new very very thin Newton. Yeah, I know there’s a snowball’s chance in Fresno of getting this, but I’d like something very thin, paper-sized, flash-memory-or-better that I can put next to my moccacino, not have to worry much about spillage, that does handwriting, virtual keyboard and maybe a really cool shiny white usable keyboard and that coexists peacefully with all peoples of the Earth and with OS X and a battery that goes on forever and some spiffy shiny white solar tech. And also a red shiny new 14″ bicycle. With ribbons coming out of the handlebars.

I wanna new tower. I’ve been holding out and holding out for an Intel tower and I want mine to be shiny and fast with lots and lots of options and sockets and expandability and please make it cheap so I don’t have to mortgage the house again. Did I mention the pony and the bike? My daughter reminds me that the pony should be (a) pink and (b) sparkly and that the bike should (a) have a basket and (b) come with a kickstand and handbrakes.

I wannna get iTunes movies. Pretty please don’t price them out of the park. I don’t mind renting so much if it’s a really reasonable price but I’d like to be able to buy kid movies at prices that don’t make me want to run out to Walmart and buy the DVDs instead. (Which I immediately copy and then I hide the original DVDs in Very High Places.)

I wanna new telephone. Make it sweet and usable and sane and usable and well designed and usable and…did I mention usable? I hate carrying around the iPod, the phone and the PDA. Design me something better.

Thank you. That should last us for at least a few months. We’ll leave some milk & cookies & oh, what the heck, a shiny red apple next to the computer tonight