Subject: Tarsiers ate my post
Erica Sadun wrote:

My “Copying YouTube Videos Part II” post seems to have been abducted by wayward tarsiers. Any idea where they may have taken it?

More after the jump…

Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Chuck Toporek wrote:

Botswana?

Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Erica Sadun wrote:
BOTSWANA, South Africa -- Five rogue mutant Tarsiers were
apprehended Thursday morning after authorities responded
to a call about a disturbance regarding a missing Macblog
post. At a news conference, police chief MT Page said
officers had recovered the missing post and returned it
to the proper Webpage. It was unclear why the Tarsiers had
abducted what was otherwise an ordinary post, but that
they had been severely reprimanded and remanded to official
custody.



Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Chuck Toporek wrote:


--- NEWS FLASH --- NEWS FLASH --- NEWS FLASH --- NEWS FLASH ---

BOTSWANA, South Africa -- The five rogue mutant Tarsiers who were
earlier reprimanded and remanded to official custody for illegally
swiping blog posts have escaped from their holding tank. Botswanian
police officials have declined to comment, but one officer, who spoke
on the promise of anonymity, reportedly stated that the Tarsiers are
considered armed and dangerous. When asked what sort of weaponry the
rogue rodents had in their possession, the unnamed police official
said that they had stolen two cases of Cheez Whiz, a box of crackers,
a toaster oven from the lunchroom, and a SWAT van. The official said
that Tarsiers are, quote, "As skilled as Ninjas when it comes to
flinging toasted cheesy crackers, but they're not the best drivers."
On their way out of the building, one officer suffered a third-degree
burn to his face after being hit squarely between the eyes with a
bubbling, cheesy cracker.

When last seen, the Tarsiers were heading south toward the airport.
Officials are worried that the rogue Tarsiers might try to hijack
an airplane headed to Denver, Colorado. Police officials in Denver
have been alerted and are on standby.

- 30 -




Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Erica Sadun wrote:


CORRECTIONS

In our May 25 post, "Rogue Tarsiers Captured", our reporter incorrectly
referred to the wayward Tarsiers as "rodents" rather than "mean-spirited
smelly big-eyed toothy primates with attitude problems, style issues
and a taste for toasted cheesy crackers". We regret the error.




Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Chuck Toporek wrote:


They are, however, on their way to the United States after commandeering
a FedEx plane headed to Denver. Onboard, according to a FedEx spokesman,
was an assorted shipment of Nabisco crackers. Since Triscuits are a favored
snack rogue Tarsiers everywhere, police officials believe the Tarsiers are
no longer a threat, except to themselves.




Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Erica Sadun wrote:


--- NEWS FLASH --- NEWS FLASH --- NEWS FLASH --- NEWS FLASH ---

DENVER, Colorado -- An abandoned FedEx DC-10 has been found on one of Denver
International Airport's less used secondary runways leaving airport
officials and local police mystified. Witnesses report a mysterious
white panel van was unloaded from the airplane before departing
to points unknown. The white van had no license plates and was marked
with the letters TWAS, said local businessman and president of
the "Dyslxeics Untie" movement Ferd Filntsotne who witnessed these
strange happenings.

Airport officials report that the plane contained no identifying
material and was in a "sorry state". Empty six-packs, torn boxes of snack
foods and cigarette butts littered the plane. "We do not know who
was on the plane, or what they were up to, but they apparently had
a very, very good time while doing it," said one airport official who asked
not to be named.

Police remain on high alert due to an earlier and unrelated matter
regarding escaped zoo animals.




Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Chuck Toporek wrote:


SAN DIEGO, California -- Well-known animal handler of The San Diego Zoo,
Joan Embry, has been flown by private plane to Denver. Embry has been
asked by Denver police officials to help negotiate a stand-off and
hostage take-over with some rogue Tarsiers. The Tarsiers, known for
their cheesy cracker flinging skillz, and whom earlier today commandeered
a FedEx jet in Botswana, flew it through a worm-hole (see Wikipedia) and
recently landed in Denver, have taken over the local Kraft distribution
center and were holding all its 257 employees hostage.

Denver police said the Tarsiers are, "Markedly agitated. These little
buggers are making crazy demands, and they keep chanting 'Mac! Mac! Mac!'
something-or-another. At first we thought they wanted more Kraft
"Mac and Cheese," but apparently not." The official went on to say
that, when presented with the blue box of ready-to-be-cooked noodles,
the Tarsiers "flew into an uncontrollable rage" and demanded to speak
to Ms. Embry immediately.

Employees in the factory are reportedly "doing fine" said one official,
who went on to say that the Tarsiers seemed to have a chink in their
armor. One worker, who called NBC affiliate KUSA-9 on his cell phone
said, "Those little buggers must've ate somethin' terribly bad on the
way here, 'cause they keep runnin' to the terlet."

A Nabisco spokesman would only comment that Triscuits are, "a
nutritious, high-fiber snack, and should be eaten in moderation."

When reached for comment en-route, Embry noted that "Tarsiers are known
for their tiny size and big eyes, but few know about their ferocious
appetite. We have a situation on our hands in Denver that could get
really messy, really fast."




Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Erica Sadun wrote:



*waving the little white flag of have-to-pick-up-the-kids-last-day-

of-school-half-day-bus-will-be-here-soon*


Bravo, — Erica


Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Chuck Toporek wrote:


Darn!


Chuck


Subject: Re: Tarsiers ate my post
Justin Watt wrote:


That’s a blog post if I’ve ever seen one. Post it!


Our servers should be back up. Sorry for all the instability. Rebuilding our aging hardware infrastructure is one of our top priorities this year.


–justin