Today’s inert “iPod Killer” article (complete with cheesy graphic) is brought to you by the San Francisco Chronicle, which talks up the MTV/Microsoft “Urge” music service as if it weren’t an obvious demitasse of suck.
Microsoft Corp. is teaming up with MTV Networks to introduce a music service this week that will challenge the popular iTunes music service.
Microsoft plans to release on Wednesday a test version of Windows Media Player 11 and MTV’s Urge music store. Like iTunes, the Windows Media Player lets users rip music from their CD collection and store it in a library. Without leaving the media player, users can also find and download new songs from the Urge music store.
Call me jaded, but I liked the iTunes/iPod killer better when it was called Rhapsody. Or Napster. Or Wal-Mart. Or Google Music. Or Sony Connect. (do feel free to continue this in the talkbacks… it’s fun!)
But to mention the existence and subsequent failure of all these previous iTunes/iPod killers would be to provide context, and as a useful tool for understanding the value and worth of news, context is something journalists are very careful to not include in their stories. I worked at CNN for a few years, and tired of playing this game (for what it’s worth, I also liked the vile plague that will kill us all when it was called “flesh-eating bacteria”. This “bird flu” is lame lame lame).
So, as a present to lazy, ignorant journalists who need to get their stories out on time so they can go complain about the low regard in which they’re held, I offer the following “Mad Libs”-style template for new music service stories. Simply insert the proper values in to the blanks, and you’ll have a typical article written in five minutes.