Hi. It appears that there’s more of you than there used to be. It would seem that lots of you have bought Macs because you’re fed up with Windows, or just because you bought an iPod and you thought it was cool, or a mixture of both.

I just wanted to give you a bit of advance warning about some things that might start happening to you now you’ve got your Mac.

Scenario 1: You’re enjoying a coffee somewhere, with your new Mac laptop open on the table in front of you. You’re just surfing randomly. But you notice, over the lid of your computer, some guy giving you a funny look. He’s … smirking in your direction.

It’s OK, you don’t need to worry. This guy isn’t some weirdo, he’s not hitting on you. He’s one of us. He’s another Mac user, and he’s looking at you because (a) he wants you to notice his Powerbook when he pulls it from his bag in a few seconds from now, and (b) he wants to come over and talk Mac stuff with you. He might want to find out what’s on your Dock, or maybe he wants to ask you for tips on launchers, or Getting Things Done, or if you have a favorite outliner, or how you solve The Email Client Problem.

If you’re in the mood for company, by all means engage him in conversation. But if you’re shy, or pressed for time, now is a good moment to avert your eyes. Look down at your own screen, and make a point of not ogling his 17″ Powerbook when it emerges from its protective pouch. He’ll get the hint.

Scenario 2: You’re giving a dinner party, and guests naturally seem to gather around the iMac G5 that is in charge of playing music for the evening. All of them are fascinated by iTunes; one guy keeps minimising windows to watch the Genie effect in action; his girlfriend has taken charge of the Apple Remote and keeps invoking Front Row, then making it disappear.

These people aren’t crazy, they’ve just not had a chance to play with a new Mac before. Put the oven on low to keep the food warm, and let them have a play. Just before you serve, give them a two-minute demo of Photo Booth - then insist that they eat before you let them play with it. If there’s any sign of disagreement, logout of your account with a quick Shift+Command+Q. Your guests will behave like lambs until after dessert. Now, login with a spare “Dinner Party” account and let them go crazy…

Scenario 3: After a particularly depressing and overlong meeting at work, you return to your desk to find your computer (not a Mac) crashed shortly after the meeting started. All attempts to bring it to life fail, and you end up having to bring in the tech support guys. They take your computer away, and you spend the rest of the day desperately trying to track down a spare machine from someone.

Finally, in desperation, you sneak into an empty meeting room and pull your personal iBook from a bag. You’d only brought it to work because you were heading off to see family for the weekend, and planned to show them some movies you’d made; but it’s with you now, and it’s the only chance you’ve got to get anything on your todo list done before the end of the day. You hear that familiar bootup chime, and a smile appears on your face. It feels odd using this machine - something you can rely on, something you depend on all the time at home - here at work, but as soon as you’re logged in you can dive into your work as never before. You spend the final hour of the day working like a demon, and head off for the weekend feeling like you’ve accomplished something.

Add your own scenarios…