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When you promote your books in bookstores you know in advance that it will be on a shelf with books by other authors all around it.
When you're emailing a customer of your website about a new product, sale, special offer or whatever you're making a private communication to someone who's expressed an interest in hearing your offers.
Google appending competitors advertisements to that private communication is very different to a store putting your product on a shelf next to others.
"Anyone who relies on being the only offer that people face mustn't have a lot of other business advantages."
Why should businesses expect their own communications and advertising campaigns to have offers from competitors?
I don't see Dell advertising HP's latest deals in the catalogs they send me every month.
I don't see Coke saying check out Pepsi on their marketing campaigns.
I don't see Nike's site offering me a link to discount Reeboks.
I also don't see O'Reilly recommending I buy a similar book from the SAMS range instead of their own.
Private communication between a business and a customer or potential customer is not to let them know they can get a better deal somewhere else. That has NEVER been the purpose of private communication between businesses and their customers, regardless of the medium.
Postal services could decide they want to put a sticker on every envelope being mailed, advertising a pile of companies.
Printing companies could decide - you get your letterheads printed, and we'll use the back of your page for advertising.
Obviously this behaviour would not be tolerated in these industries, or any other for that matter.
So why allow Google to do it?
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I sent myself a message with the title "Testing Nike shoes" and the message "Do I like Nike shoes?"
The sponsored link results were all but one Nike related. Only the last link was from a general sports shoes shop.
So, from the industry PoV this is more than acceptable. I don't think what you say is happening.