This afternoon I had the pleasure to listen to Kyle Machulis’ talk about teledildonics in his “Really, Really, Really Intimate Interfaces” talk. I’ve been joking about teledildonics to my friends for many moons, only to be met with incredulous looks of “Really?”. Little did I know that teledildonics is real and here today — it may not be as polished as a lot of the gadgets out there, but if you want to have a hand in pleasuring your long distance relationship partner, there is hope today!

In a stark contrast to Violet Blue’s talk about “Sexual identity online” y esterday, this talk was quite light with lots of humor, laughter and even a demo!

Kyle started talking about how he got involved in this field (”Electronics are a cover-up for my perversion”) and what sites cover this topic:

Kyle went on to define teledildonics: Remote controlled sex toys — enact intimate interfaces across any distance. And why is that important? According to Kyle there is only one type of sex toy that is generally accepted: Shaky dildos. People tend not to be all too adventurous when it comes to sticking experimental and new and uncomfortable toys near the genitalia. Research in this area can bring more advanced and interesting sex toys to the masses.

He then outlined the basic types of toys out there:

  • Shaky: The typical vibrating dildos that you can find in any sex shop.
  • Thrusty/twirly/machiney: Fucking machines and The Thrill Hammer are some examples.
  • Shocky: Electro stimulation to your genitals! Kyle says that the ErosTek ET312 is the rolls royce to shock yourself in the nuts with. (at $500 it better be!)
  • Combo-y: The Priceless II is the strangest combo dildo Kyle has seen! Linear actuation, with Fleshlight inserts, driven by an electric screwdriver!

Ok, as you can see by the substantiated links, I’m not making this up. But, please understand that there was lots of laughter and snarky comments flying about the session. Did I mention things were lighthearted?

Pressing onward, Kyle mentioned the OhMiBod vibrator that you can plug into your iPod. If you’re listening to a pumping techno beat, then you’re feeling a pumping techno beat! And then there is the Talking Head vibrator that is an actual MP3 player!! And then there is the Sinulator, the first dildo with DRM. You must pay a monthly subscription fee to use this vibrator and its associated online community. You stop paying the fee, you stop vibrating! (And here I thought DRM was dead!)

Next up was the Je Joue (now discontinued), the vibrator that comes with its own symbolic programming kit, so you can make your own programs and share them with others on the net. Unfortunately too many people thought that programming was too hard for sex and the company discontinued the project. And then there is the Virtual Hole, a new vibrator from Japan with seven motors to control every aspect of your pleasure. Kyle even had a volunteer come up and stick their finger in it to let the audience know what he felt!

Kyle also talked about Restrained Life a Second Life viewer that doesn’t let you remove your restraints. He also mentioned the recontextualization of force feedback for teledildonics. And the Drmn’ Trance Vibe project that aims to build an aftermarket version of the vibrator that came with the Rez game. Why? For use in teledildonics, of course. Afterall, Kyle is the maintainer of libtrancevibe, a driver library for this vibrator on SourceForge.

Kyle presentation was quite enlightening and humorous, but I am not sure if the field of teledildonics has advanced enough to hit mainstream anytime soon. For now its going to be relegated to lovable freaks like Kyle. And the world needs more freaks like him!