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I'm not advocating an either/or approach, and certainly agree that the open source and proprietary worlds each have much to learn from the other. One's personal choice of software is exactly that, and (cost aside) should probably not be made primarily from a licensing perspective. Personally, I find the OpenOffice tools superior to their Microsoft counterparts, and my desktop is Linux, so that's what I use.
I applaud RedHat's decision to cut loose their basic workstation distribution as a sponsored open source project (Fedora). Despite the outcry from some quarters of the Linux community, I think it showed an understanding of the symbiosis between the two development models. Like Sun/OpenOffice and Netscape/Mozilla before them, they seem to be on the leading edge of a new synergistic software development model for the future.
I do think you undervalue licensing as an issue, especially in light of its economic impact as an installed base scales in a business environment. The city of Austin, TX or the Israeli Department of Commerce aren't deploying OpenOffice because it's open source -- they're doing it because it meets their needs at a lower total cost of ownership. I predict we're really going to see some movement when the Windows and Office 2000 products hit end of life next year.
But at its core, the paradigm shift you're talking about depends more on open standards than on a software development model. The ISA bus drove the PC revolution, TCP/IP engendered the Internet, and SGML-derived markup took it to the masses. But less than 2% of the desktops on the Internet have a browser than can reasonably render CSS2, a standard that is more than five years old now. Don't get me started on PNG and SVG. Browser hacks still waste far too much of every good web designer's time. This time and money could be better spent.
Finally, you mention OS X as a best of breed. I'll certainly agree with you there. Lots of cool stuff going on at Apple since Steve came back.
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Regarding open standards and the paradigm shift, I couldn't agree more. But the sequence is as follows -- open standards lead to software commoditization, which drives value up the stack to new areas, which are not yet standardized. Rinse and repeat.
But note that software commoditization is separable from free/open source licensing. Web browsers are low/no cost commodity because of web standards, even though the dominant software (Internet Explorer) is proprietary.
F/OSS licenses are certainly a factor, but not the only one.
I see F/OSS licenses as a corrective response to proprietary vendors who have been abusive towards their users, just as the environmental movement is a corrective towards industries that have been abusive towards the environment. Once we get things in balance, activism fades into the background. You want to get to the point where "doing the right thing" just makes sense to everyone. (I like to quote Lao Tzu in this regard: "Losing the way of life, men rely on goodness. Losing goodness, they rely on laws." Reversing the pattern, you might say, "Finding goodness, men rely less on laws. Finding the way of life, they get beyond goodness, and judgments of right and wrong, and doing the right thing happens because it just seems to make sense."
The software industry is a long way from balance, but I'm convinced that many of the key players on both sides are moving to the middle. There's a huge amount of learning going on as a result of open source activism, in which companies are learning to be more engaged with their user community, more transparent about their code, and more collaborative in their development.
Meanwhile, they are also accepting that many hotly fought battles of the past are over, that the software that is the subject of those battles is no longer as valuable as it was, and that the locus of value (and unfortunately, the next round of battling for advantage) has moved on. As the poet Wallace Stevens says, "The tragedy begins again." But hopefully we've created a whole new realm of value in the meantime, value that can be taken for granted by a lot of people.